thoughts....

well, the weeks are starting to count down and nerves are beginning to set. I wait in anticipation of my new job and the move but something has plagued my mind in the recent weeks as I see God's hand move in my life.

Has life always been complicated but by being in the so called "rat race" our eyes have been blinded to the truth? That truth being there more to life than making money, going to church, and doing daily duties that you feel completes your life-having the ME syndrome. Are we so wrapped up in what we do that the minute we stop, our emotions are solely focused on how WE feel and what WE want? Are we that self focused on making a living or getting enough money that we don’t realize we have become a different person?

As Christians it is so hard for me to understand the ME concept so many have but as I look at the past year I have realized I have fallen into that category. Not only have I been self absorbed in my walk (asking God for things and not stopping actually listen to Him) but I have allowed myself to fall into a pit of uncertainty. Will I have enough money to pay bills? Will I meet all expectations in my new job? Will I make friends? What happens if someone at home gets sick and I’m not there? What if I can’t...? STOP!!!! Stop, I tell myself. All of those questions have one thing in common...the word "I". I am no longer just me. I am no longer my own ruler or for that matter the only one on this planet! So why must I refer to me as being the only one in this world? There are thousand to millions of children gasping for breath as they run and hide from abuse, slavery, or children who cry bc there is no one to turn to, no hope for tomorrow. And here I am selfish, vain, seeking my own satisfaction and personal gain when I have EVERYTHING I need-Jesus Christ. There are times when I am flabbergasted by how self absorbed we (myself included) are now. I CAN eat; I CAN walk down the street and not be filled with terror. I have money, clothes, a home, love and most importantly knowing Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. BUT I also have those things to give! the bible tells us:

Acts 20:35 “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive. “

With this said I do not think Jesus meant give bc it will make you feel good. That places you right back in the center of you own little word and in the "me me me" scenario once again. But when you give, give in Christ. I have never felt more satisfied than when I gave for Christ and He used little ol’ me as a tool, a messenger of God’s love. Selfless giving…not In hopes you’ll get something back.

Henry Ford said this "To do more for the world than the world does for you - that is success."

My confusion stems from the idea of why is it so hard for people to grasp these 2 concepts
1.) it is not all about them
2.) why is it so hard for people to give selflessly?
these questions I have pondered bc I myself fall into the category of this. I weep at the thought of Jesus nailed to the Cross taking our sins and selfish “me” syndrome upon Himself. Our lives would not even be of consequence if Jesus said “you know what, this stinks. I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t like doing any of this. It’s not MY problem. I’M perfect. I want to go home. This isn’t fair. I had to leave MY home and MY good clothes and shoes and walk around teaching people who don’t even care about ME.” And just got off the cross and went home. But he didn’t. he gave…selflessly. Jesus told us to walk in the likeness of Him. How is it then, that Jesus ,out of selfless unconditional love, took it upon Himself and gave His life- the only way for us to heaven,-and we can’t even give anything -a meal, a smile, 10 dollars, or even stop to say a prayer-to help those who need Him the most. I do not say this as a person who is being preachy or above this. I’m telling myself as well that we were not put on this earth to live day by day in a self absorbed or self centered lifestyle. We were placed on this earth to give glory to God and bring aid to those who have not found Him but are searching for someone to take time to share His love. Give…Give in God’s glory.