Letter of Comfort

Do I have her eyes, her smile? Did she abandon me? Wasn’t I wanted? Does she have a family now with other children? Does she think about me? Does my birth father know I was even born? Where was I born? Could I have passed them on the street and not known? Was I just a accident to my birth parents? Did they even care? As the years come and go the questions pile up each time I think about how my existence started.

Name: unknown
Birth date: July 24, 1986
Hospital: N/A
Mother: unknown
Father: unknown
Description: Caucasian
Future: unknown…

WHY? Unknown. There are times during my life when I struggled with all these questions. There would be times when I felt I hated my birth parents for what they did because I didn’t even know why they did it. They didn’t even get a chance to get to know me or even try to take care of me. Now, my longing is to just know who they are and their story. I want to see my Birth mother one day and I want to thank her. I want her to know I made it. That I have a mom and a dad who love me with every being of their body, have taught me Godly values, and the meaning of unconditional love. That they wiped my tears when I cried, loved me in spite of my flaws, have held my hand when I hurt the most, and I love them. I want them to know who I am because of what they did!

Name: Jenna Marie Howard
Birth Date: July 24th, 1986
Adoption Day: August 8th, 1986
Hospital: N/A
Mother: Pat Howard
Father: Jim Howard
Brother: Dusty Howard & Li Lou
Sister: Julie Howard
Description: I have light brown hair and green eyes. I am 5 ft 4in and a small build. I look like my mom and have the stubbornness and twinkling eyes like my dad. I love to love my family and love that they love me back.
Future: To aid in the rescuing of orphans worldwide!
Comments: Thank you mom and dad for giving me a life of love, kindness, discipline, and direction. I would not want another mom or dad and I thank God that he chose me and placed me in your arms!

Throughout my life my parents had always said when I was ready there were some things my birth mother had left for them to give me. My mom and dad made it clear that I never had to have these things if I chose not to. They have always answered the questions I have to the best of their ability. When I was ready I asked my mom about the things she had for me. She told me my birth mother had written me a letter along with a few other things. I asked for the letter. The words below are my birth mother’s words to me. I feel God gave me this gift to share. Parents of adopted children even question the “why’s” as they see their beautiful child grow. This letter didn’t answer all of my questions but then again maybe I wasn’t ready to hear the whole story. I will continue to search when I am ready but for now these words I want to share with the children and parents who will not have this opportunity. Be thankful and find comfort that you have your child, that their birth mother held on for nine months, and gave your beautiful son or daughter life so that they may live it with love and abundance in your arms. I hope these words bring you comfort as they did for me.



My Baby, My beautiful Baby,
Someday you will understand the beauty in this decision. I am a young girl who is just starting her own life. I brought you into this world knowing that I could not give you the love and material things that every child deserves.

My decision was out of love for you. You were so beautiful when I saw you. I can’t even imagine how beautiful you are now.

Me and your father were really in love with each other at one time. He isn’t a bad man. He was young just like me. We were not together when you were born but our hearts were.

When you were born I couldn’t really believe I created you and carried you for nine months. You moved around a lot and boy, did you have a case of the hiccups. You would wake me up in the mornings and help me sleep at night. Those 9months were very important to me.

Well, I have to tell you my mom, your grandmother, is a wonderful woman. She helped me with my decision a lot. If it weren’t for here I would have never made it.

I want you to remember something when you read this letter. You have mom number 1 and mom number 2, and I am mom number 2. Mom number 1 is your mom. She raised and gave you things you needed. You also have Dad number 1 and Dad number 2. Dad number 1 is your father. He’ll be there for you whenever you need him and even when you don’t. He’ll be there to chase off the boys when they start lining up at the door. And your mom, well, let her be a mom to you. She will love knowing that you need her. And your brother, well, let him take care of you. I have a brother and I wish I would have let him take care of me.

The bond you will have for your family will be strong, happy, and full of love. You are a fortunate little girl. Always be thankful for everything. God will watch over all of us and take care of us all.

You are always in my heart.

I love you,
Your Mother