Window Watching...

After church yesterday BJ and I were able to go to Antigua. I had been feeling a little homesick and BJ ha suggested we go to Antigua, since I find it to be very calming. (He is such a loving man. I love it when he knows what I need before I do. Isn’t it cool how God does that?) Once there, we were very delighted when BJ’s roommate, Wosebli, and his new girlfriend, Gabby (Gabriella) were able to meet up with us and spend the day with us. The couple is native Guatemalans and to my pleasant surprise Gabby is my age and speaks almost perfect English. I was so relieved because I desired some female bonding. God is so good. Gabby allowed me to practice my Spanish with her and was able to correct me and encourage me as well. I, in return, enjoyed letting her speak in English as she said she has not done it in a while and enjoyed doing so. This couple was more than happy to show us more ruins, markets, and churches and explain a lot of the history. It was exactly what I needed.

They took us to a church ruins and we all enjoyed taking many pictures of each other. As we were exiting one part of the garden, a wooden window looking into a separate courtyard caught my eye and I stopped. At the time it was a beautiful scene to look into and just seemed a perfect picture opportunity. I asked my wonderful loving photographer, BJ, to take a picture for me and he kindly did. When I saw it this morning I knew the Lord had BJ take this picture for the purpose of speaking to me. The picture is a perfect example of how I feel as I experience Guatemala and the areas around here. I commented on his picture (via facebook)

“This is what it is like for me to not know the language. It’s like being on the outside looking in at something so beautiful. You can’t' help but want to do everything you can to be on the other side...”

Pray for me as I continue to look through this window begging to be let in. I will find the door someday soon but for now “window watching” has become my newest hobby.

-J

“Thank you Father, for caring so much about me to use Your creations to encourage, refresh, captivate, and speak to me and show me Your continuous abounding Love.”

Culture Shock Week

Once again I sit here at Café Barista and try to formulate my thoughts into words to properly describe what I have seen and the emotions I have felt in the past week.

This week was culture shock week. I must admit I have never been this stressed, more uncomfortable and insecure than I have in my entire life. Fear of the unknown had run its course and I broke several times this week. As the week started BJ and I had begun to plan out the next couple of weeks. As he described the places we would go and some precautions to take, my fear just overwhelmed me. I am a plan A, plan B, and Plan C, type of person. I am more comfortable and feel more in control when I am aware of all aspects and have time to weigh all decisions before making them or at least know how I will react when problems arise. Being here there is no way to do that nor is it smart either. My fear is not too much of being robbed but more of traffic accidents and the pure terror of the unknown. Being robbed is something that I feel I have a little more control over. It is one person against me whereas when we are driving it is me Vs. hundreds of cars! Cars and tour sized bus’ filled with more than the maximum amount of people that should be allowed coming within a mere 2 inches of our doors. All the while we must stay aware of the little motorcycles, with 2+ people on them, zooming in and out of all the cars, riding in between lanes with their little horns that you hear when usually it is almost too late. Pray for me on this as I know traffic and the driving style here will not change.

Here, everything runs by time or traffic. Traffic and time are openly at war and you just happen to be caught up in the middle of it. Your opinion does not matter and neither time nor traffic is on your side. However, you must drive to get to wherever you are going and therefore have no choice but to take part in the whirlwind of chaos. BJ has been so observant and knows when it is time to push me a little more or time to call it a day and let me wind down. My steady reassurance is that everything I do each day is never left to chance. Everything in my path is “Oked” by God.

The Oasis Home Visit

The Oasis Visit was this week an a welcomed one at that. As BJ and I arrive to a secluded area of San Lucas there lay the massive doors of the Oasis. As we waited for someone to let us in I looked around. The walls were at least 15-20ft tall and topping off the walls were two rows of barbed wire with electric cables running alongside them. These wall were obviously built to keep the unwanted out and the wanted in. the doors opened and we were greeted by Kimberly Glick. She is an intern working through C.A.M. at the Oasis. The Oasis is a girl’s home that have about 40 girls currently living there. The girls were all taken by the police from abusive families. Some were only beaten and other were beaten and sexually abused by a family member. As Kimberly began the tour I was shocked by the American style living. There were obviously some Guatemalan aspects but the well manicured green grass, large trampoline, basketball court, soccer field with netted goals all said American run facility. Now, these girls have gone through a lot in their short time of living (the oldest being 20 and youngest being 2) and do deserve to know there is a better life than what they were going through at home but I think there is a fine line to this. The girls are being taught at a school there on the property including English. There homes and play are all done on the property. There is no need for them to leave unless it is for a court hearing. I worry about the assimilation process these girls will have to deal with once they are no longer able to stay at the Oasis.

The homes are run similar to the World orphans model in that they have 10-12 girls per home and also have a live in house mom to help and aid them. They have found that the sibling living is very hard to deal with in that most of the younger girls will only listen to their older sisters and not the house mothers. Therefore, they believe separation is the best thing for both children. As I asked Kimberly what some of the girls stories were my heart broke as she told me the story of a perious 2 year old girls being stabbed in the arms and legs of their father. The same little girl who would reach out to touch me as we talked. Who smiled at me as if these things had never happened. Then another story of a girl being sent out to collect money for her parents and when she continued to return with not enough her parents would be upset and often angry. The girl then decided that to come up with the right amount of money to please her parents we go and sell her body to filthy men. This girl BJ sat next to and she openly accepted his tutoring in math with a grateful smile. Another of a pair of sisters who would watch as their father repeatedly would rape their mother in front of them and often times the eldest of the two girls. All of the girls currently still have families and therefore are not considered orphans. Because they are not orphans they are required to have court dates in which parents attend and are asked to right their wrongs so the girl can come home or permanently stay in the Oasis. In which case all the girls know are the terror of returning home to the Americanized style living which could be considered as detrimental to their assimilation.

There are no father figures at the home and my fear is that as these naive girls age out of the system and are no longer able to stay at the oasis the first “nice” man to come along they will attach themselves to and return to the circle of abusive, negligent, and unfaithful husbands who desire for their wives to birth their children and make their food. Pray that the Lord opens up doors for the male leadership and the girls discernment above all else.